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Today on Our Anniversary

 

As we sat across from each other it was evident things were not the same. Even when Kent smiled at me from across the restaurant table for the first time in 8 years it was different, we were different.  It was awkward because though he was once my husband, at that moment in time for the past 10 years he was not my husband. Well at least by law our divorce decree said our marriage was dissolved.

It's crazy how the word dissolution on our divorce decree made me think and feel like all the work and time we invested just evaporated and disappeared as if it never existed. Yet my heart was saying something entirely different.

Marriages are certainly difficult but then there are the few of us who have married and divorced just to later realize that divorce was not what we really wanted. Some have labeled us predicting that we won’t last due to our indecisiveness to remarry and not just leave each other alone after divorce. We are looked at by others as failures due to the fact we took the easy way out.  Then there are those who must remind us that they have no idea why we choose to go through this again when statistics show we will more than likely divorce again.  

One of the biggest obstacles that we have found after remarriage is how easy it is to allow others to discourage you with their words. Those words can eat away at the foundation that you are trying to rebuild wreaking havoc on any and every sign of restoration in your marriage.  

When I think about our marriage it reminds me of how God despite all the naysayers, our bad decisions, and choices, can and will restore a broken marriage. We spent 10 years apart, listened and initiated a ton of negative comments about one another, argued, fussed, and even disrespected each other. With all that God still saw fit to give us grace and restore our severely broken marriage on October 18th, 2015.  

Over the past 3 years we have both come to realize there are things in the world that do not require scientific reasoning or a detailed explanation if you are following God's instruction. We have both learned our lesson and as a result we have chosen not to justify our remarriage to anyone but testify how God orchestrated the repair of our marriage.

The best advice we could give to married or remarried couples who are struggling in their marriages is to be patient, kind, remove yourself from listening or speaking in a negative manner regarding your marriage, communicate, forgive, love, and speak life into one another. A scripture that is near and dear to our hearts is Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words.” We encourage you to read this scripture together and ask each other this question.

Will we choose to speak life or death over our marriage?





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